Happy 19th Birthday Candace!

 Happy 19th Birthday Candace!

Your birthday was a beautiful sunny day! We enjoyed singing Happy Birthday to you and then watching the balloons float up into the sky until we couldn't see them anymore.

Hailey and Kade did a balloon release in Provo for you.

Happy 18th Birthday Candace!

Happy 18th Birthday Candace! 

Your birthday was very snowy and blizzardy, so much so that we had to wait an extra day to do your balloon release. Shaylin joined Dad and I with the balloon release.

 

Ethan was in Utah for a ballroom competition, so he did his balloon release with Hailey and Kade.

This is what I posted to Facebook today:

Happy 18th Birthday to our angel daughter Candace! It's amazing how the time passes and the hole in our family never diminishes. I have been given the opportunity to work with a group of young women in our church that are all the same age that Candace would be. They would have been her peers and her friends. I find this to be a tender mercy from God for me. I get to be involved in these girls' lives. We chat about their boy drama and their school class troubles and about their plans for college and beyond. All of these things are what we would have been experiencing with our daughter if she were still with us and it is a sweet reminder for me. Life is such a gift. I treasure each day I have with my loved ones.

Happy 17th Birthday Candace!

Today was a beautiful sunny day. We released your 

birthday balloons from the Scentsy Commons area. 

This was the first time Jeff was part of this balloon launch. 

He and Shaylin will be getting married the end of March.  

Hailey and Kade did a balloon launch in Provo and sent us a picture. 

I love that our kids participate wherever and whenever they can.

Here is what I posted to Facebook today: 

Happy Birthday Candace! You would be 17 years old today sweet girl! I often dream of what you would be doing and involved with and what our late night conversations would be about. I look forward to our reunion in heaven when my heart will feel whole again. We love and miss you and are so grateful to be your parents.

Happy 16th Birthday Candace!

Today would be your 16th Birthday. Every year we seem to have amazing weather. However, today was a little different. We released your balloons in a blizzard! It was so very cold! Hailey and Kade had a bit more of a peaceful balloon release in Provo (see the picture). There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of this daughter of mine and the 9 months and 23 precious hours we had with her. Some people only dream of angels, but we held you in our arms.

Happy 15th Birthday!

Today we celebrated your 15th birthday! It was a beautiful and sunny day. We enjoyed sharing some memories and having this time together. Shaylin was in Rexburg at school, but the rest of us were here.

I often wonder what you would be like...you would be 15 today. You would be blossoming into a beautiful young woman. I'm sure you would be singing your way through life like the rest of your siblings. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you, my daughter Candace, the member of our family that people around me have never met and some don't even know that you exist. The invisible yet incredibly strong presence in our lives. I can't put it into words what it feels like to ALWAYS be missing someone in family photos, around the dinner table, on family vacations. Life never feels complete. I look forward to the day when life will feel whole and complete again. Happy Birthday sweet angel daughter of mine!

A few days after your birthday we had a very monumental thing happen for our family. We were all in the temple together! The whole family! I felt you so near. I knew you were celebrating this day with us and for a few moments my family felt whole again.

Happy 14th Birthday!

It snowed so much on your birthday this year.  It was still snowing in the afternoon and evening, and so we decided to postpone your annual balloon launch.  It was a beautiful white birthday though. We still celebrated you and talked about memories.

This birthday was a little more emotional because your cousin Ansley has joined you in heaven.  She passed away unexpectedly on January 20, 2021.

Ansley Marie Carroll--16 years old

We did your balloon release on Feb 20th, to commemorate 1 month of Ansley being gone.  We decided to release the balloons at Ansley's graveside.  We got an extra  purple balloon to release in her memory as well.  It brings me some comfort to know you cousins are reunited and together.  

This was my Facebook post on your birthday:

I have 3 daughters, even though most people only see 2 when they look at our family. Today our angel Candace would be 14 years old. I often wonder what she would be like, what interests or hobbies she would have, how her interaction with her sisters and brothers would be. I know that our family doesn't feel complete without her, which is something I've just had to learn to live with for now. Happy Birthday sweet angel daughter of mine! I look forward to being reunited with you one day.

We love you angel girl!  Can't wait to embrace you again one day soon.
 

“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.”  -Rumi

Happy 13th Birthday!

Today was a beautiful day to celebrate your birthday!  It warmed up to the low 50's, which feels pretty amazing for February in Boise!  We missed having Zach and Shaylin here celebrating with us.  Shaylin released a balloon in Poland for you and she sent a note for us to put in a balloon here for you.  

It was also fun having Miumiu join us in our balloon release.  She even wrote a note for you!  Here the family is walking to our favorite spot to do the balloon release.  

I love what "pink" thing Ethan chose to wear to celebrate Candace today!

It was a beautiful pink sunset!

We love you Candace!  Happy Birthday!

When we got home, I needed to open a new box of Kleenex.  We only had one box left and look what is on the outside of the box!  Butterflies!  I know that God is in the details of our lives!  

Here's a post I put on Facebook on Valentine's Day this year:

Happy Valentine's Day Friends! I'm not a big poster on Facebook, but my heart is bursting today with gratitude and I want to share! Yesterday was our angel daughter's 13th birthday! She's never far from my heart, but this time of year she is constantly on my mind. Thank you for all the kind texts, comments, and drop-by gifts. Each one is so appreciated to know that SHE is not forgotten!

Valentine's Day is a tender day for us, as it's the day she left this earth. Kind of ironic that my heart literally felt broken on this day of hearts. I wish I could steal a quick hug, snuggle her beside me and stroke her cheek...but I will wait patiently for that coming day when our daughter will live again. Valentine's Day holds so much more meaning for me now. It is forever a symbol of Perfect Love given from my Savior Jesus Christ. Because of Him, our daughter will be whole and complete and live again! Because of Him, death is not the end for any of us! Because of Him, we all can return to our Heavenly Father's presence! This is what Valentine's Day means to me. It's when my heart will be healed.

I also am feeling so grateful for my #1 Valentine, Jonathan Carroll. Together we made the choice 21 years ago to marry in God's Holy Temple and make a covenant with the Lord, and then through proper priesthood authority, be sealed together for eternity, which also seals/binds our children to us. We have never regretted that decision! This knowledge brings our family so much peace, knowing we will be reunited with Candace again and our family will be complete and whole in a future day!

http://jesuschrist.lds.org/SonOfGod?lang=eng&_r=1

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/temples?lang=eng